Remember, husbands: The Lord does not strike us in anger; instead He lovingly corrects and teaches us. If we do not respond, He may also use firm but loving discipline to correct us. But He is always patient and wise. He does not provoke us to anger (Eph 6:4) or use unkind words or abuse us. Christ’s authority always has an element of gentleness (Ps 18:35; Matt 11:29; Gal 5:23; Eph 4:2). He always affirms His love and acceptance of us – even “while we were still sinners” (Rom 5:8). This is the model for how we are to love, instruct and discipline our children.


The headship of a Christian husband will also give direction and guidance to his family. In order to do this, a husband must be submitted and sensitive to the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. Through his obedience to the Word and surrender to Christ’s lordship, the husband is equipped and enabled to set godly and practical priorities for his family.

A husband must be flexible. Sometimes he needs to coax and encourage; at other times he must command. But he does all in order to direct and center his family upon Christ.

Certainly, a husband will not have all the wisdom or good ideas for his family. His wife, children and the counsel of others will also contribute to what is good for his family. But the husband must consider all this input, and prayerfully determine what is best for his family to do under the guidance of the Word and the Holy Spirit.

A good husband should not have to make every decision or direct every detail in his home. His wife should help manage the home; that is right and proper according to Scripture (Prov 31:10-31; 1 Tim 5:14). In a well-ordered home, the wife will contribute a great deal to the function of the home. But a husband must guard against neglecting his responsibility to give sensible direction and help. He must never let his wife perform all the tasks and carry the entire burden for the home and children.

A husband’s neglect of responsibility can happen if he is gone too much away from home. Though it may even be ministry responsibilities that cause his absence, this is neither right nor scriptural.

The husband’s first priority is his relationship with God. His next priority is his relationship with his wife and children. His marriage and family come before his ministry responsibilities or his job. A good husband does, of course, need to work to provide for his family (1 Tim 5:8). But he must also take the time to love and care for his wife, and instruct his children in the home. Neglecting a wife and children for ministry in the church is NOT according to God’s plan or the principles of Scripture. A Christ-like husband will work hard to properly balance his time among all of his God-given responsibilities.


The Spirit-led husband will serve his family by humbly accepting the privilege and responsibility of headship in his home. He will make every effort to provide for the needs of his family: spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically and socially. He will use his God­ given authority to teach, direct, encourage, plan for and serve his family.