A Christ-like husband also understands the importance of his part in raising the children in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4, nas). The Lord has placed both a father and mother in the home. They are to both act as the Lord’s hands and voice to teach and train the children He has given them. Disciplining and instructing children as the Lord would do is an essential part of the husband’s role in edifying the family. The training of children is not to be left only to the mother. The husband is required by the Lord to take part in the process (Eph 6:4; Col 3:21).

Remember, husbands: The Lord does not strike us in anger; instead He lovingly corrects and teaches us. If we do not respond, He may also use firm but loving discipline to correct us. But He is always patient and wise. He does not provoke us to anger (Eph 6:4) or use unkind words or abuse us. Christ’s authority always has an element of gentleness (Ps 18:35; Matt 11:29; Gal 5:23; Eph 4:2). He always affirms His love and acceptance of us – even “while we were still sinners” (Rom 5:8). This is the model for how we are to love, instruct and discipline our children.


The headship of a Christian husband will also give direction and guidance to his family. In order to do this, a husband must be submitted and sensitive to the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. Through his obedience to the Word and surrender to Christ’s lordship, the husband is equipped and enabled to set godly and practical priorities for his family.

A husband must be flexible. Sometimes he needs to coax and encourage; at other times he must command. But he does all in order to direct and center his family upon Christ.

Certainly, a husband will not have all the wisdom or good ideas for his family. His wife, children and the counsel of others will also contribute to what is good for his family. But the husband must consider all this input, and prayerfully determine what is best for his family to do under the guidance of the Word and the Holy Spirit.

A good husband should not have to make every decision or direct every detail in his home. His wife should help manage the home; that is right and proper according to Scripture (Prov 31:10-31; 1 Tim 5:14). In a well-ordered home, the wife will contribute a great deal to the function of the home. But a husband must guard against neglecting his responsibility to give sensible direction and help. He must never let his wife perform all the tasks and carry the entire burden for the home and children.